taking a chance...

I’m judging myself right now, knowing that I potentially broke my resolution on something that was so NOT worth breaking it for… but a girl has to take a chance every now and again…

If I haven’t mentioned before I have the most adorable nephews in the world. Not being biased, they literally are so cute I pinch them- not hard don’t worry! These two men are my #1’s. I love every minute I get with them, even if my car is left with french fries jammed in the seat, and dusty little foot prints all over the place. They are the greatest two human beings in my life, and I am eternally grateful for having a sister that lets me spoil them rotten and take them whenever I need some quality bonding time. It was on one of our little adventures that I encountered Parking Lot man.  

So, my two little men and I head out to grab a few things, with the youngest being 2, I walked across a crowded and busy parking lot with a baby on my hip and the other holding my hand. We grab our things and while walking through the store I happen to notice a guy watching us. It’s important to point out that because my nephews are so adorable people often comment on how cute they are. So I just assumed he also thought that of the two of them running down the isles. Yes aunty lets them as long as they aren’t screaming!  I continued picking up what I needed, we paid for our items and left. After buckling both the boys in I turned to get in the driver seat when I hear behind me, “excuse me, but are those your kids?” 

At this point I think maybe this guy is the dad of a kid from play dates my nephew goes on? I really had no idea, so I turned around, explained that they were my nephews and we were just out for the day. I didn’t need someone thinking I had stolen these two angels.

It was after my explanation that he proceeded to say, he didn’t think I looked old enough to have two children (little does he know) but that I looked incredible with children, and he proceeded to ask for my number.

Here I stand in the middle of a parking lot with a reasonably attractive man asking for my number after basically having just told me I look like a hot mom. I was honestly a little dumb founded, did men actually approach women with children to ask if a- those were her children and b- if she was single and they could have her number?

It’s also critical that at this point I share what the man looked like.

He was wearing a ball cap, with a 5’oclock shadow, zipped up sweater (green) and jeans with running shoes. He for all inspection looked like your average Joe.

So, I threw caution to the wind and instead of giving him my number, I took his and told him that if I had time while I was in town I’d let him know.

Well after my adventure with the boys wrapped up, I thought you know what I’m going to just take a chance. So I asked him to meet me for coffee later the afternoon before I left town. Now remember how I described him before, looking like the average Joe.

Well, this time when he got out of his vehicle to meet me for coffee, he stepped out in a tee shirt that revealed not only were his arms covered in tattoos, but they were also crawling up his neck.

 – please note I don’t have a problem with tattoos, got one of my own that I love.

He was also wearing a flashy graphic tee shirt, jeans and those shoes with the weird toe that curls up (think elf like dress shoes). Now the only reason why I make note of what he was wearing was because I hadn’t changed since being out earlier in the day – firm believer in what you see is what you get. So I didn’t know if he was trying to hard, or if he had another date lined up for after coffee. The wardrobe change seemed so odd, and he looked like a different person, totally threw me for a loop.

Now to the date, I’m going to fast track most of it and just share the basics, and the main reasons why I didn’t ever want to see him again.

We sat and talked for an hour about what we did for fun, our careers, and family and just general first date topics.

I quickly realized he wasn’t a match for me when these words came out of his mouth

“I wish I was into bigger girls, because they are so much nicer and would be really excited to have someone like me be interested in them”

- that comment almost warranted throwing my extra hot non fat chai latte in his face.

For several reasons this ended it, there was no digging his way out of it. Sure I might have taken it in the worst way possible. But I don’t think anyone should be judged or stereo typed in that regard. He was being rude and offensive to girls of every size with that comment.

He proceeded to tell me he didn’t like girls who went out all the time, but that he spends his spare time sitting in the pub watching sports. – marginally hypocritical?

That he was looking for someone who would txt or call him every night just to say goodnight? – you’re a grown man are you  kidding me?

The list of comments continues, but in there he also threw out how he had been looking for a country girl just like me, someone down to earth – I know a line when I hear it, he called living in the country boring not 3 minutes before that.

But the two things that sealed it for me were the fact when we were walking away he made the comment. That next weekend I would be going for supper with him, and he would be seeing me again. – don’t tell ME what I will and wont be doing, seriously I’m 24 and the only man who will ever tell me what to do is my father.

Finally something I couldn’t swallow and after this information was processed in my brain I knew he was NOT someone I’d ever be spending time with again. He shared with me that he had a 7 year old daughter he hasn’t seen in years. I’m not privy to all details, but if I was a parent regardless of circumstances I would be part of my child’s life and nothing would stop that. And that his mom was at home battling cancer and he hadn’t been to see her since her diagnosis. Distance would never stop me from being with anyone I cared about if they were sick.

So, the fact he didn’t value his family the way I do mine, along with the ever charming lines he kept spewing out of his mouth, I knew this would never work. Regardless of the fact he thought I looked like a hot mom, and flattered me non stop, I just couldn’t imagine ever spending time with Parking Lot man.

Well there you have it my Sweets, my rule bending date with Parking Lot man. I hesitate to say I broke my resolution, especially because this date was so not good. I had to share this story with you, so you could see not all my dates are exciting, fun or even enjoyable.

The take home from this one my Sweets is that, sometimes you need to take chances, but never be willing to compromise on your own values or what you feel to be right. Be yourself it’s that simple.

Next up is match making attempt # 4. It makes me smile just thinking about it. Get ready, because I think your really going to like this one!

xoxo

a little more...

So here is the deal…

I had this notion of keeping my blog anonymous, in a word so full of everyone displaying every part of their lives on the internet.

(everyone wants to see what you’re eating with an instagram shot!- insert eye roll!)

I thought; why not keep this a secret part of my life. Let those who read enjoy my stories but not really know much about me.  – also my future career plans include a lot of public appearances so I thought I better keep this as politically sounds, and as friendly to the public as possible… yes that’s right I plan on total world domination within the next 12 years!

But then I realized the blogs I follow are ones who are written by people I find truly amazing, sweet, or unique and wish they were my friends in real life. So I’ve decided to give you a little snippet about me, the girl behind all these kooky stories, trying to navigate her way through the single life in a couple’s world.

or more like a world that praises man whores… but anyway

I am a self proclaimed refined hick, a polished country girl. I make my living working in the city, but my life is in the country.  This blog came from hours of conversation with my girlfriends about my dating life and sometimes lack thereof. It didn’t matter if they were single, coupled up, or married, they all said the same thing. “why does all of this happen to you, you ought to write a book about it” well that my Sweets would take years, and frankly this is a little funnier. I will never give anyone’s real names out because I have too much respect for other people’s integrity as well as my own. So you will get to giggle at my stories and never know who the person really is.

I must admit, sometimes when writing I feel like a totally quack… even right now I’m talking to myself about myself. - people seek medical attention for that sort of thing.

 However a friend assured me and encourages me that this whole process will probably help me make smarter dating decisions. I pray he is right!

If you’ve been following along you know that my resolution was to only go on dates with people “pre-approved” by my friends.  It’s going wonderfully so far… I smile saying that – yup there is a juicy 2 date story coming up! I am however also sharing stories from my past because they have been the most delicious to share.

With that being said, my life aside from work has now been consumed by training for my first half marathon, and I seem to have found a knack for spending hours catching up with friends (highly recommend this!) along with finding any reason to take a weekend trip away. So at times it looks like I don’t love my blog, but I do. It will also never be a fancy blog with all those gadgets on the side. What you see is what you get. SIMPLE !

There you have it my Sweets, if you have questions you want answered let me know.

xoxo

a chance meeting... twice?

Far too long…

I honestly wish I had a great excuse for why its been so long since my last post, but I don’t. My life is busy just like everyone else’s, and I have let my posts go totally unmade. It’s a good thing I have such AMAZING friends who still encourage (push) me to do this! I think they are just hoping and waiting for a truly horrific or heartwarming story to read… Yay for both to come!!!

Yes its true, things happen in the blink of an eye and a girl tends to find herself in situations you wouldn’t even dream up… or at least I do…

My Pre Vacay date… the one in which I am claiming to have not broken my resolution on!

You see, when you already knew of the person and at one time had each other’s numbers, exchanging them again 5 years later doesn’t count as a random exchange of numbers… therefore I wasn’t breaking my resolution to only go on dates with people pre-approved by my friends… right?

Well it doesn’t much matter anyway, here is the date I neglected to tell you all about a month ago – it actually happened two months ago… oops

Tall, Dark, Handsome and can two step. What country girl wouldn’t be immediately swooning over a boy like that??!! Just to clarify, he also had light colored eyes and great teeth.

We had met several years ago at a local rodeo dance and exchanged numbers after dancing several times. I was moving away, he was a young foolish boy (some things don’t change with age) and nothing every came from it.

Flash forward 5 years later and while in a daze at another rodeo dance someone grabs my arm, I whip around and it’s him… again. He looks more manly but still just as cute. We have a brief encounter and he is gone again.

 Its important to note that after several beverages I felt more courageous and inclined to pursue him. So, being the resourceful girl I am, find him on facebook (danger lurks in facebook!) and send him a message. (at 4AM… clearly some logical thinking)

Anyway, I left my number in the message – one I reread the next morning and shook my head wondering what the heck I was thinking. The message worked, cause he called the next day.

We continued to chat for several days; he then asked to meet me for supper. I was helping out my incredible girlfriend at the time, so was being the responsible adult in the house for her two teenage sons, so told him I only had time for a quick drink.

We met, chatted, it was really fun. We had a lot of critical things in common, and I really enjoyed the date.

When we left we had the most awkward exchange of a hug in my life.

(think an extended handshake that wrapped around your mid-section... awkward right ?) 

It was like he wanted to, but was scared and it ended up feeling incredibly strange and I had this very weird feeling after.

He followed up by txting me the next day and it seemed like things were on its natural course. I was off to Mexico the day after so things were left up in the air…

When I got home a week later it was like it never happened, he was all standoffish and acting like a precious little gem.

*** Please insert the most sarcastic tone ever as you say those three words, and accompany them with an eye roll… you get it now?

 In true to me fashion, I have left it completely alone… with the exception of letting him remain a facebook contact. Men are visual creatures, they see something they like they go after it…

It might be presumptuous of me to say but keeping these “not so lucky” men as a contact is really more for my gratification than anything else, because I continue to do my own thing, being the strong independent women I am. Hoping, and slightly knowing it bothers them to see I didn’t even blink an eye over them no longer being interested in me, because I know there will be someone who will fit just perfectly and they will be the lucky one!

There you have it, the date that happened mere hours prior to my sunny beach vacation.

I have since had two more dates... so stay tuned for one youll giggle about and one you'll wish you had been on!!

Till then my Sweets

xoxo

make me a match?...

Oh my Sweets, I feel horrible that it’s been nearly a month since my last post. I’ll admit I was totally frazzled pre vacay, and came home to a whirl wind of things to catch up on.  So, as promised the Match Make #2 & #3

# 2

This set up came from my very close and very sweet BFF who is also a boy (you’ll hear about him later). He is my bestie, everything that happens he knows about. So when he introduced me to a friend of his, I knew he had thought about it thoroughly.

The boy I was introduced too was very intelligent, funny and adventurous… what more can a girl ask for?!

Match #2 actually made it to two dates! The first was just a drink and some time getting to know each other. Actual conversation was something refreshing!

Our second date was very cute. Something he planned all on his own!  We went to the space and science centre, and took in some of the exhibits they had on show. It was the sports exhibit, so some friendly competition happened and that was fun to see. After that we went for supper to a unique Cajun restaurant that I had never heard of so I was super excited. The place had live music and amazing atmosphere – definitely somewhere I’ll be heading on a girls night!

From the outside, it looked like an amazing date. There was lots of conversation and fun. But on the inside, my mind was still thinking about Match # 1 and the chemistry that there was with him….

So, part of me felt bad for even being on the date in the first place, but the other single part of me was glad I got out there and tried again. The date was perfect. He was a real catch; someone that could have easily given me everything a girl had ever wanted… the big house, fancy lifestyle and picture perfect life. But lets me real for a second, liking someone just for what they can give you gets old and dull.  I’m a girl with substance and dimension. I needed chemistry, and there just wasn’t any on this match date.

My Bestie, didn’t even seem to care it didn’t work out… probably because he knows me so well, and knew that if I wasn’t sure of it now I never would be… he also hasn’t attempted to set me up again, likely because he doesn’t have any other single “quality” friends left. – Proof that quality men are hard to find!

Now Match # 3

This one is one for people to really laugh at… because it was an attempt by the mother.  Now, this lady is strong, intelligent, and generally doesn’t hold back what she’s thinking. – sound like anyone in particular??  Ya, I know…

So when this lady proceeded to ask me if the two little boys in the picture on my desk were mine, I replied yes they are… my nephews mean more to me than anything else in the world! So they are MINE, and always will be!!  I explained to her, they were mine, but not at the same time. She then proceeded to inquire about my personal life (this seems to be a common thing when you reach my age and don’t have anything visibly wrong with you, people begin to wonder…) and when she heard the answer she wanted she proclaimed… “Wonderful I have a blue eyed, brown haired son and you would just look fabulous on his arm!” – laugh because this was in fact a true statement!

After that it went to a facebook search, to where she was indeed correct he was very handsome. So I thought why the heck not… nothing to lose.

Being the girl I am, I’m pretty selective on who can see me on facebook, so his attempt to do that facebook creep failed. He then Googled me… yes that’s right he Googled me.

Your reaction to this, likely the same as mine…

His search resulted in him finding my twitter account, to which he then began to follow. Once I saw this I followed back, and the Direct Messages started.  Numbers were exchanged, but we never met up.

He was witty, and definitely sparked my interest, but it didn’t amount to anything – he still follows my account which I find funny.

So there you have it, my very first twitter chase/creep – first time for everything. And as my friends would say, “That stuff only happens to you, you should write a book” instead I’m blogging about it!

So sorry for the delay in post my Sweets.

I’m working on the impromptu date blog from before my vacay, so you’ll get a double feature this week!

Enjoy your weekend my Sweets

xoxo

a second go around…

As promised I told you Id share with you a juicy story out of the book so settle in and enjoy…

Many women have that one man who gets under your skin, makes you crave to spend more time with them, time you never should have given them in the first place. Case in point Fatty

(a nickname a girlfriend gave him when she met him, and it’s stuck ever since, not the nicest but neither was this guy).

I’ll be the first to admit social media has revolutionized the dating world and made it one crazy mess.  Between facebook, texting, and twitter (yes I’ve had someone seek me out on twitter- more on that later) a girl can get so caught up and confused, not to mention lead on that it’s downright nasty.

But back to Fatty, see we had known of each other for some time (since college) but never really interacted, till he pursued me. I gave him my number, and fast forward about 3 weeks, he asks if I’ll come watch a movie and dinner with him on Valentine’s Day.  Being a single girl, I jumped at the chance for a night out. 

-I have to include the fact, Fatty was unlike other guys, he CALLED to talk to me a lot. Between the texts when he was busy, he actually called me! It was so refreshing, and probably part of his charm. Besides the fact he was at the time (prior to the nickname fatty) incredibly cute, had a fantastic smile (My weakness is a great smile with nice teeth!) and proved to be a great kisser!

So, our date (unofficial) was great we laughed and had great chemistry, we talked a lot and I thought he was a really sweet guy… till I didn’t hear from him for a month and a half later. Being the ballsy girl I am I called him out on his shit and told him that was no way to treat any lady. Things were on Ice after that…

Flash forward to my vacation in another country when he calls me to tell me he misses me?!

WHAT THE WORD!!!

(Best part my girlfriend who gave him the nick name listened to the voicemail and forwarded me the message… she thought it was the weirdest thing ever- she didn’t know the half of it)

Here this boy was sitting in the combine of all places and pours his heart out on my Voicemail, saying he would really like to see me and take things further…. I was on a beach with the ocean in front of me, and cold beer beside my lawnchair, he could wait!!!

And so he did, till November ,this had been going on since February. So, he drove 4 hrs to tell me the same bullshit story he had given me the first time…

You know that saying fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me… well this girl didn’t give him a second chance to fool me. 

The advantage of being burnt one too many times is that you can read a scum bag right from the first smile (that doesn’t mean I don’t like giving them a chance now and again - I swear I was a dentist in my former life, no one else I know has such an obsession with nice teeth)

So, I proved to be smarter this time around, and got what I wanted out of the situation. I’ve still got Fatty’s number in my phone, and still have him as a facebook contact because what drives men mad more than not getting what they want, is being able to watch that girl get what she wants from someone else…

For the record, the texts from him still continue today, over a year later. He is that guy I should let go, but sometimes we are our own worst enemy and hang on to the ones who make the room spin with one smile because asshole or not being wanted (even if just for that second) is an addictive feeling.

Lesson learned, if you give someone else a second chance make sure it’s worth it, and always always always call the shots its that simple!

Hope your having a great week my Sweets.

not enough time...

My Sweets, my week pre-vacay was not long enough. I just couldn't find time to write a proper post on Match #2 & Match #3!
Not to mention, my unexpected Monday night date.
I'll let you know, the date was great - details to follow, then you can judge if broke my resolution.

I do however have a story from the past (more so on going) to share with you!
Ill post that for your reading pleasure!

Have a fantastic week, I again feel horrible for letting you down and not sharing the match making attempts 2-3!

xoxo

First time for everything…

Match # 1

It’s really common for people to be set up by friends, but my first match making attempt came from a sister! – This sister I will note is the type of girl we all hope to be our sister-in-law.  She is passionate, caring and a load of fun.

 I met the sister through her work, she witnessed me stumble down a hill wearing 3 inch stilettos, in a dress, holding a chilled beverage in one hand and my bridesmaid bouquet in the other.  Now I hope that you’re all picturing me tumble down this hill, hair and flowers flying everywhere. However this wasn’t the case I simply just fell straight onto my knees, letting the gravel break my fall, I managed to keep my hair intact, the flowers unharmed and more importantly, not a drop of beverage was wasted!!! – I like to think it was my poise during this event that made her think I was a fun girl, and worth a further inspection.

A few months passed and the sister inquired about my personal life, and then later asked if I would be up for meeting her brother. It was January, and my new resolution was just freshly made so I threw out my hesitation and agreed.

We met originally via Facebook and managed to message back and forth for a few weeks before timing allowed us to actually meet.  (Keep in mind, FB lets people know everything without needing to ask, so it’s a double edge sword use it carefully.) Thankfully in this case, we actually got to ask each other questions and got to cover the basics before meeting in person.

Now, I will be the one to admit I was extremely nervous to meet match #1. He had already made me laugh and smile so much before meeting I was terrified I would get there and he would be let down, or Id get there and his personality wouldn’t be as fun and the whole thing would have been ruined.

I knew what he looked like and was excited to finally hear his voice.

In case you’re wondering - dark hair, light eyes – but not blue, and a great smile, with good teeth.

(Insert your own laughter here at my odd obsession)

When we finally met I’ll be honest I was totally shocked he was more handsome in person, and I was worried about the first impression I made.

Now on to the date…

Match #1 – whom I often refer to as my TV date, did a phenomenal job, I’ve never had a boy actually put effort into a date like this! – This date took place in February, and if you know Alberta in February you know the weather often determines most things.

On the way to meet him, a small blizzard decided to happen so that probably added to my nervousness, driving into the country to meet a total stranger when I couldn’t even see the lines on the highway – really smart, doesn’t that sound like a good horror film plot…

So, our date saw us head out for supper, (about an hour of driving to talk) which was great we had already talked for so long, it was like catching up with an old friend. The whole thing was very comfortable, and while it continued to snow and blow, we drove back to his place and he asked me to grab my skates…

 It’s important that I fill you in on 2 things 1- I’m not a great skater. 2- I HATE being cold and cringed at the thought of skating outside in the cold. Yes I’m a tough farm girl, who enjoys the great outdoors, but I loathe getting cold. (Remember I sleep in wool socks). So when the boy asked me to grab my skates from the car after supper, I threw on all the layers I had packed, touque (thankfully I’m one of those girls that look cute in a touque) and mitts with an additional sweater. When he returned carrying his skates and a bag- which was rattling, he laughed at me….

He laughed because he had gotten the arena manager to leave the back door open so we could skate inside. (This is when you and I both go AWWWW)

So, we laced up our skates, and when we were headed out to the ice he pulled out the rattling bag two mason jars with ice!!  Now this boy came prepared, Rye and Gingerale (my favorite) and Coke… he clearly had put thought into this whole date.

Now the best part, he pulled out a flashlight so we could skate with a flashlight instead of turning on the lights above the ice.

Cute right, like really cute!

After a few minutes of skating, I just turned and looked at the empty arena, and this boy who was sweet, and took the time to put in effort on a date and asked myself… is this a real date or are their camera crews lurking somewhere because it felt like I should have been on TV.

I’ve never had anyone take the time to think of such a fun and unique date before and honestly felt special. – now he might use the same date for every girl he meets but regardless I thought this was amazing and it now holds the title as the best date, and best first date ever in my books.

If you know me personally, you know that I still have that little smirk on my face while I remember this and share it with you.

Now, due to the weather the date lasted two days – VERY important to note, that there was NO horizontal mambo happening between us! He is an extremely handsome man and I will admit that the kissing wasn’t half bad either.

We had breakfast and lunch (which included meeting his best friend – still not sure how to take that) and went our separate ways.

After a date like that there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that I wanted to spend more time with him. Work and life events got in the way, so I’m left wondering, but not waiting.  I’m not waiting because I learned something it often takes us girls a while to learn. If a boy is interested he will make time, its that simple.

So my Sweets, there was Match # 1. The door isn’t closed for this boy; he might just have to wait his turn in line now.

Tomorrow is match # 2 and # 3 because I’m dying to tell you about my Monday night date! Eeek!!

I’m off to pack for my Vacay

xoxo