A good challenge…

 

While when most people sit and think about New Year’s resolutions most think of things they will do to make their life better, quit smoking, exercise more, get back into the jeans you love and refuse to throw out because no other pair makes you ass look that great sort of resolutions. Well, for me mine was also in an attempt to make my life better.

For lack of a better descriptive verbiage, my dating life has been filled with scum bags.  So when New Years Eve 2011 rolled around I reflected back on the past year( the online attempt, along with other stories you’ll read about) I thought to myself, every one of these people was a near stranger, I didn’t know their credentials , their words and actions (or lack thereof) were up for interpretation! So being the progressive women that I am, decided to change that little fact and perhaps there would be better results.

I proposed to make my resolution for 2012 to only go on dates, or meet someone if they had been “pre-approved” by my friends. Yes I left my dating life in the hands of the people who knew me, and also knew single men. This way, these male suitors are held somewhat accountable for how they behave. Or so I hoped.

It’s now April, and I have had 3 match making attempts. While none of them seemed to be a good fit, each attempt made me realize more and more of what I’m really looking for in someone to spend my time with.  Most importantly however it’s teaching me what is really important about myself that I refuse to compromise in order to make others happy. That’s besides those little things, like having control of the remote, sleeping in wool socks, and belting out Celine Dion when the mood strikes me.

I am going to try and keep things simple and will number the blog post for every date that was a match make attempt… this way I can keep sharing with you the blunders of dating past, because some of those are the best stories to share!

Also, I should clarify the name behind the blog (itsreallydifficult- for explanation see first blog post). The name however its that simple came from the conversations with my girlfriends about my little black book(s) filled with my dating nightmares and the fact that a potential book would be titled its that simple.

You’ll quickly learn that every dating disaster had its hidden message, one that I’m attempting to share with you to help you navigate this complex and sometimes ugly world known as dating. Every story is truthful, and I won’t be using anyone’s real names out of respect – although some don’t really deserve it.

So you basically have my journal at your finger tips, with a bit of my dry humor and sarcasm injected into the stories so you get a good feeling of how I was actually processing things as every event unfolded.

This post might actually take the award for most boring, but now you will be able to follow along with the current dating experiences as well as the past. Thanks to one of my AMAZING girlfriends I finally have a quiet night to sit and write!!! So, seeing as next week my toes will be in the sands of Mexico and my hands will be holding cold beer, I’m going to attempt to post several times this week!

I might have broke the resolution this weekend, you can be the judge when I share the story

I may have just gotten home from a date

So stay tuned my Sweets,

A onetime thing…for now

A single girlfriend and I were just talking about needing to get out there and make ourselves more available, to which we both replied. NOT ONLINE!!! Now this response came from an interesting personal experience… enjoy (this story happened last fall/winter)

I had just moved to a new city, the only people I knew were family and a few girlfriends, so feeling adventurous I sat down with my older sister one night to create an online dating account. Heck I thought this would be a great thing, meet some new men maybe find a love connection and see what else came my way…

So, the account was made, and I soon found myself looking forward to checking it. I shared several of the profiles with my sister, and will admit we have a good laugh at a few, and it became fun to check the “trap line” every night … Anyone who has done online dating can attest to the typical online dating response, men looking for a good time, men old enough to by my dad looking for a good time, and men who wouldn’t be brave enough to talk to a woman in person looking for a good time! I quickly began thinking this was a BAD IDEA!!

Then insert the paramedic. Now ladies we all have that fixation for a man in uniform. I will agree to this 100% something about a man in a uniform just gets me excited. This wasn’t my first man in uniform, so I was pretty confident on how to play this one.  (I’ll save the other uniformed man for later!)

So, our first date was at a coffee shop, we talked found out we had a lot in common, he was from a small town. The same small town one of my friends was from, so being the girl I am, I did a background check on him, (like I do with almost every guy I date) she said he was a nice guy so I continued to see him. I thought it was going really well, we managed to meet up several times a week for coffee or a walk in the park between my schooling and his work schedule. Things were fun and easy.

Then a month in it clicked, he hasn’t even kissed me or asked to kiss me, I thought this was a tad bit odd. We had spent a fair amount of time just the two of us. Had gotten to know the basics (dating history, family dynamics, future plans) but why the heck hadn’t he tried to plant one of me?!  I felt like a fly hitting the window. I for the life of me couldn’t figure out why, and it wasn’t for a lack of flirting, or some sort of religious or personal background, but yet there was no kiss. I waited it out thinking maybe he was a gentleman?!

SO, after one of our dates, I finally just asked him on the way home if he was attracted to me or just looking for a friend. I have never seen a grown man get so nervous in all my life. His answer was sweet and long drawn out involving something about “on my mind all the time” but it was in that minute that I knew he wasn’t a strong enough man for me.

Sure he spends his time at work saving lives and getting covered in bodily fluids which is heroic, but he didn’t have strong enough guts to kiss a girl he liked because she made him too nervous… it wasn’t long after that that I let him know I wasn’t interested in spending time with him anymore and felt we would be better off with other people…

I didn’t hear much from the paramedic after that, I’m sure in his brain he also thought everything was going to lead to marriage, even though we hadn’t kissed in over 2 months of seeing each other. 

However, one night out in town I did run into him, well more like he stalked me out in the bar and asked “hey do you remember me?” – With a wafer thin girl who looked about 18 on his arm…. I smiled politely said “hey of course, how could I forget, looks like you’re doing well gesturing to his brunette cracker” I waited for a response, to which I could tell he didn’t have so I saved him the pain and said “it’s just this simple” and walked away with a drink in each hand and a smile on my face!

***For the record after ending things with the non kisser, I deleted my online account and haven’t looked back since! It’s a process that works for some people, but at this point in my life I won’t be pursuing it again anytime soon.***

While this story wasn’t that exciting, I had a certain someone (you’ll hear about them later- that’s a promise) nagging me about when the next post was going up. So I thought better not delay, and threw this one up tonight.  It actually should work well as a good prelude into the next post on my New Year’s Resolution, as well as provide more insight into why the blog is called it’s just that simple.

The domain name is itsreallydifficult – because creating this frustrated me more than rush hour traffic through downtown… but the blog itself, it’s just that simple has a story behind it as well!!! – All so confusing I know…

Have a fantastic week my Sweets

welcome to blogging...I think?

For starters, this isn’t a new idea; it was something I had tossed around in my little (crowded) brain for some time.  The biggest question I had was who the heck would want to read a blog about my life?? Then it hit me, I became addicted to reading other peoples blogs, and I felt less crazy, well a little less crazy.

The name for this blog came from utter frustration… nothing I wanted was available and every other idea I had was a joke. Some of those suggestions were; theboringblognoonewillread , abouttoloosemymind and my favorite boundtobeacrazycatlady… and among the text messages sent back and forth from one of my biggest supports the words. This is really difficult came out of my mouth… and it fit!  So there you have it. There is not special meaning behind it. Just the real story, although I’m beginning to wonder I think the cat lady blog might have been a hit!

I’m also going to admit to you, I find this a touch creepy as complete strangers will be reading things I post, but at the same point I dove into this project in an attempt to provide humor, inspiration and something other people could relate too.

So here we go! The whole concept of this blog is to be determined. The driving force behind it was my three girlfriends who tear up, clutch their sides from laughter and also express a little rage about my dating life… so they told me to write this stuff down and make a book… well one little black journal full of stories doesn’t get you a book deal so blogging is a better way to get this out there.  Alas don’t worry it’s not a dating blog, more so an online journal about my journey. I’ve had friends relish in my stories telling me they are living through me, so friends (new an old) here is your chance to get a first row seat into the life of a single girl in this crazy crazy world!

As boring as a first post goes this is right up there I’m positive! I’m off to go through my black book for a juicy story to share with you all for the next post.

Take care my Sweets